
2012 was an incredible year for Britain – and for our regional theatres. The biting recession certainly hasn’t slowed the thriving arts scene in our great country and 2012 saw some truly remarkable blockbuster productions visit our beautiful and historic Yorkshire theatres. Happily 2013 promises a lot more of the same! Here are some of the biggest shows coming up in the first quarter of 2013…


JANUARY 2013:
Until 13th January 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Cinderella – The Rock ‘N’ Roll Panto
£13.50-£20.00
From press release; “Following the sensational audience reaction to our first rock ‘n’ roll panto, Aladdin, the team return with the most popular pantomime of all. Starring a cast of actor-musicians, singalong rock, pop and soul hits and of course the amazing boulder fight all the essential elements of traditional panto are all here.”
I was very disappointed to be unable to attend this production as it looks an absolute blast. The reviews are also very solid and hopefully a third Rock ‘N’ Roll panto will be in the offing for the 2013/14 season.
21st-26th January 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Sex & Docks & Rock ‘N’ Roll
£10.00-£13.50
From press release; “From the team that brought Big Society! A new musical comedy with a riot of songs, cookery classes, cups of tea and class war, Sex & Docks & Rock ‘N’ Roll is a family comedy about love, change and solidarity set against the backdrop of the 1960 Liverpool dockworkers’ and seafarers’ strike.”
The second City Varieties musical theatre offering in as many years from the quirky Red Ladder Theatre Company. Expect politics aplenty and a fair few laughs.
27th January 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Tanita Tikaram
£20.60
From press release; “Tikaram is renowned for taking an age between albums – on average seven years – which has only added to the enigma.”
This one certainly one which has me intrigued as I must profess until now ignorance to Ms. Tikaram’s lengthy and – at times – bizarre career. A quick look on YouTube reveals that Ms. Tikaram is certainly not an unknown, in fact this video from a 1988 edition of “The Top of the Pops” has been watched by over 2.2 million people. Even the ticket price is enigmatic, the erroneous 60 pence just screaming intrigue…
29th-31st January 2013 – St. George’s Hall, Bradford
The Moscow State Circus – Babushkin Sekret
£15.00-£25.00
Along with Cirque, the Moscow State Circus are one of the most revered names in circus performance. Their latest production, Babushkin Sekret, is inspired by The Legend of the 12 Chairs, and promises the usual astounding collection of aerialists, clowns and acrobats in a setting a million miles away from the big top.
31st January 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Glen Hansard
£20.30
From press release; “Hansard is celebrated as the principal songwriter and vocalist/guitarist for the Irish group The Frames. He has a reputation for grounded, real life songs whether he’s busking the streets of Dublin or at the Hollywood Bowl.”
Another journey back to YouTube reveals another intriguing booking for the City Varieties. Hansard makes a folksified, mature Ed Sheerin, in closest comparison. A promising date in the diary.
Until 3rd February 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Cinderella
£10.00-£29.00
It would be remiss of me to forget Cinderella, starring Billy Pearce, at the Alhambra. The annual pantomime’s mammoth run sees it occupy the theatre until 3rd February. This production is of the highest order, as detailed in my review here and is well worth a visit – even without youngsters in tow! *Must See*
Until 23rd February 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
Opera North: Otello/La clemenza di Tito/La voix humaine + Dido and Aeneas
£15.00-£63.50
Opera North’s new season sees no fewer than three new productions debut at the Grand.
Verdi’s Otello (16th Jan-16th Feb) “reunites the production team of director Tim Albery and designer Leslie Travers who created Opera North’s recent, widely acclaimed Giulio Cesare; Music Director Richard Farnes conducts.”
Mozart’s La clemenza di Tito (31st Jan-22nd Feb) sees “ John Fulljames, Associate Director of Opera at the Royal Opera House, directs Opera North’s first production of Mozart’s sublime opera seria.”
Finally, from 14th Feb-23rd Feb Poulenc’s La Voix Humaine shares a double bill with Henry Purcell’s Dido and Aeneas to conclude the season.
FEBRUARY 2013:
2nd February 2013 – St. George’s Hall, Bradford
Brendan Cole: License to Thrill
£29.00-£32.50
Brendan Cole, noted ballroom dancer best known for his appearances on “Strictly Come Dancing”, brings his brand new show “License to Thrill” to Bradford’s St. George’s Hall for one night only. The show promises a cast of 20 musicians and dancers in a “spectacular night of theatre entertainment”. Having watched a few press videos, this production looks an excellent dance show and one that looks well worth a visit.
2nd February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
The Guestlist (A charity event in aid of Cancer Research)
£15.60
From press release; “A two-hour set of MTV unplugged-style songs including those by Adele, Amy Winehouse, U2, Seal, George Michael, Paul Young, The Eagles, Snow Patrol, The Killers, Elton John, Michael Jackson, KT Tunstall, Alison Moyet, Otis Redding, The kinks, Bill Withers and Dolly Parton performed by an array of musicians who have performed with Justin Timberlake, James Blunt, Sting Squeeze, Joe Cocker, Jools Holland, JLS, Alexandra Burke, Ben E King, Ronnie Wood”
8th-21st February 2013 – Restaurant 1914, Bradford Alhambra
Fawlty Towers: The Dinner Show
£39.50
Yes, I know what you’re thinking and no, I haven’t lost my mind. Situated in the completely redesigned upper circle bar area, the brand new Restaurant 1914 at the Bradford Alhambra looks very nice indeed. Having only peeked up there myself, I noted the privacy blinds segregating the smartly-dressed diners as waiters whizzed past me with plates of delicious-looking food. What better way to showcase this ambitious new investment than recoup some of that expense with a dinner themed show? Fawlty Towers: The Dinner Show sounds rather self explanatory; “A delicious three-course meal and interactive comedy is hosted by Basil Fawlty, his long-suffering wife Sybil and their confused but loyal waiter Manuel – all brought to life by a critically-acclaimed cast of professional actors!”.
As always, these events hinge on the quality of two things – the food, and the cast. If both are as good as they promise to be, this could be a fantastic evening and something a little different for adults young and old alike.
9th February 2013 – The Studio (Bradford Alhambra)
Paul Tonkinson: Fancy Man
£12.oo
From press release; “After storming the comedy circuits for years and much badgering from fellow professionals, Yorkshire man, and former (double award-winning) Time Out Comedian of the Year,Tonkinson takes to the road, with his eagerly anticipated debut tour”
12th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
John Shuttleworth – Out of Our Sheds
£TBC
John Shuttleworth (created by comic Graham Fellows) is back with a brand new touring production “Out of Our Sheds”. From press release; “Shuttleworth ventures beyond the garden gate to tread the mean streets of Britain. Which is better: city life or country living? Supermarket or village shop? Or is it better to sit in your shed and count the cobwebs?”
12th February 2013 – The Studio (Bradford Alhambra)
Jethro: UK Tour 2013
£19.50
From press release; “Always slightly on the edge, Jethro’s fruity Cornish humor is the perfect remedy to cheer everyone into cachinnation. Turning everyday events into farcical stories, embellished into hilarity with his trademark west country dialect.”
Jethro is of the “having a funny voice is funny” school of comedy, one which made Joe Pasquale into a star. The difference is, Jethro actually has some amusing material and, waffle aside, you are guaranteed a few laughs at this one!
12th-13th February 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo
£18.50-£35.00
You can sum up Trocks (as the company are affectionately known the world over) in three words; really, really, funny. Essentially a comedy dance troupe, Trocks are an all-male dragged-up ensemble who believe they are the greatest ballet dancers in the world. Much like the late Tommy Cooper, who himself was a talented conjurer who sent himself up for laughs, Trocks’ act is funny because each member of the ensemble is actually a talented and accomplished dancer. *Must See*
13th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Sadie and the Hotheads
£19.50
From press release; “Downton Abbey star and Hollywood actress Elizabeth McGovern takes up lead vocal duties with her hotly tipped band Sadie and the Hotheads as they head out on a headlining UK tour.”
Another fascinating booking from the ambitious City Varieties team. Actress Elizabeth McGovern has become one of the most recognisable faces on television thanks to her performance as Cora in Downton Abbey. It seems music is a great passion of hers and, having listened to a few “Hotheads” songs, I must say I am impressed. Definitely worth a look.
15th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Jerry Sadowitz
£19.10
From press release; “Totally offensive and he hates your guts. He once emptied a room with just his warm-up material.”
16th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Jimeoin
£18.50
From press release; “World-class stand up from the internationally acclaimed star of Live at the Apollo and Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. No gimmicks, just great craic!”
17th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Russell Kane: Posturing Delivery
£18.10
From press release; ‘What if I’m one of the guys who never has a baby? Why is this not a male subject? I plan to give birth live on stage then raise it – in front of you. Come along!”
18th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Juan Martin
£14.00-£16.00
From press release; “Celebrated virtuoso of the Flamenco guitar, Juan Martin has been voted one of the top three guitarists in the world. His latest project explores the roots of flamenco, with music including Moorish and Indian gypsy music, Sephardic song a well as his own inimitable flamenco style.”
19th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Justin Currie
£20.60
From press release; “Famous for his role as founder member of rock group Del Amitri, Currie’s music is dominated by strong imagery and storytelling.”
21st February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Fairport Convention
£24.10
From press release; “Hailed as the originators of British folk-rock music, Fairport Convention has just celebrated its 45th anniversary. The 2013 Winter Tour features songs from their most recent studio album Festival Bell. There will also be an opening set from John Watterson who will perform revivals of Jake Thackray’s quirky songs.”
21st February 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Cannon, Campbell, Watchorn & O’Conner formerly of ‘The Dubliners’
£17.00-£21.00
From press release; “Sean Cannon, Eamonn Campbell, Patsy Watchorn and banjo virtuoso Gerry O’Connor continue the legacy of Legendary Irish Folk group THE DUBLINERS, celebrating 50 glorious years in the music business.”
22nd February 2013 – The Studio (Bradford Alhambra)
Tom Stade Totally Rocks
£15.00
From press release; “Following last year’s sell-out debut UK tour, don’t miss Canadian émigré Tom Stade with his brand new live show”
23rd February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Justin Moorhouse
£13.00
From press release; “The star of Everyone Quite Likes Justin (R4) goes back on tour with his stand-up romp.”
23rd February 2013 – The Studio (Bradford Alhambra)
WOW, A Celebration of the Music of Kate Bush
£19.50
My only tribute act inclusion, simply because I am a big fan of Kate Bush and this production is a new one on me. The show promises “Kate’s greatest songs and a state of the art light and video show will ensure a fabulous evening of entertainment”. Worth a look simply because it is a little different.
24th February 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Al Murray – The Only Way is Epic
£26.10
From press release; “Britain’s most irrepressible innkeeper will be serving up his premier brew of ale-inspired acumen and bar-room buffoonery. Get your orders in now!”
26th Feb-2nd March 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
James and the Giant Peach
£12.00-£15.00
Roald Dahl is still a hit with children and this production, from children’s specialists The Birmingham Stage Company promises to pack them in. If your children enjoyed their previous production of George’s Marvellous Medicine, Horrible Histories and The Jungle Book, they will love this.
MARCH 2013:
1st March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Sharon Shannon
£18.10
From press release; “Sharon Shannon has music at her fingertips….literally! The accordionist from Ireland has achieved legendary status throughout the world and has made the much-maligned accordion ‘cool’ in her home country. Renowned for her collaborations, not just in Irish traditional music, but through all musical genres, Hip-Hop, Cajun, Country, Classical and Rap. “
2nd March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Andrew Newton
£13.00
From press release; “World Famous Hypnotist Andrew Newton makes a welcome return to the City Varieties after last year’s sell out tour of Australia and New Zealand. This show marks the 31st year since he first performed at the theatre and promises to be as funny as ever. It’s not just the people on the stage who will find themselves part of Newton’s carefully controlled insanity – someone at home will have an unexpected call!!!”
2nd-9th March 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
Northern Ballet: The Great Gatsby
£8.50-£39.50
From press release; “Discover the heady, indulgent days of New York’s Long Island during the glamorous 1920′s as Northern Ballet bring F Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel The Great Gatsby to the stage. Nick Carraway comes to know his infamous neighbour Jay Gatsby – a mysterious millionaire with a secret past and a penchant for lavish parties and beautiful women. As the sparkling façade of Gatsby’s world begins to slip, Carraway comes to see the loneliness, obsession and tragedy that lies beneath. The seductive style of the era is recreated through stunning sets and costumes. Music by Academy Award nominated and BAFTA winning composer Sir Richard Rodney Bennett CBE (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Murder on the Orient Express), will be played live by Northern Ballet Sinfonia. With an unparalleled reputation for telling stories through dance, Northern Ballet are the perfect company to translate this popular American novel into ballet. As The Great Gatsby steps into the spotlight, don’t miss your opportunity to see what promises to be one of the most stylish adaptations of this classic work.”
3rd March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Pete Firman – Hoodwinker
£13.00
From press release; “Don’t miss Pete Firman, ‘the new poster-boy for British comedy magic’ (The Telegraph), as he returns to the road with an all-new box of tricks. Fresh from BBC1′s ‘The Magicians’, with his own trademark blend of comedy and jaw-dropping magic, this is a show not to be missed!”
4th-9th March 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
The Woman in Black
£11.50-£26.00
I am not afraid to say it, The Woman In Black is a genuinely frightening experience. Forget the sub-par movie adaptation starring Daniel Radcliffe, the stage play is atmospheric, dark and moody – and bound to have you on edge throughout. Yes, it has been touring and playing the West End for decades – but it keeps on delivering. *Must See*
10th March 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Richard Herring – Talking Cock
£15.60
From press release; It’s an object of shame and pride; it inspires laughter and fear; it’s a symbol of power, yet it’s incredibly fragile; it can be a pound of flesh or an ounce of winkles, it can be used to express both love and hate; it creates life, it can condemn us to death… and it can do wees as well. How can one tiny flap of sponge and sinew be all these things? Richard Herring intends to find out in this tenth anniversary update of the critically acclaimed show that exposes the truth about men and their flutes of love. Sell-out at the Edinburgh Fringe 2002 and Melbourne Comedy Festival 2003, translated and performed in over a dozen European countries, published as a book by Ebury press.
Herring is a fine comedian and wordsmith and is at his absolute best when staying on-script.
11th-16th March 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
The Mousetrap – Diamond Anniversary Tour
£15.50-£31.00
12th-23rd March 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Hairspray
£19.50-£45.00
Hairspray is an absolutely joyous musical and the tour is a triumph. I have seen this tour several times previously – as well as several visits to the now departed West End production and the novelty and sheer delight simply doesn’t wear off with repeat viewings. The current cast stars comedian Mark Benton as Edna, EastEnders’ Lucy Benjamin as Velma Von Tussle, X Factor 2011 competitor Marcus Collins and newcomer Freya Sutton as Tracy. *Must See*
13th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Inspector Norse
£16.00
From press release; “LipService, Britain’s favourite literary lunatics, are back with ’A Swedish self-assembly crime thriller’. Inspector Norse (orThe Girl With Two Screws Left Over). It is bitter mid-winter. Ex-popstar recluse Freya looks out of her log cabin at a rural winter scene. She smiles and turns back to her meatballs. but who is the stranger Nordic Walking across the frozen wastes? In a fur hat. With a chisel. Days later a man is found dead in a barn nearby with a bizarre message carved on his forehead. Enter Inspector Sandra Larsson in her authentic, rustic knitwear. With her own personal life unravelling before our eyes, it is up to her to follow the pattern of a mystery with many holes. Cast on multi-award winning comedy duo LipService, Maggie Fox and Sue Ryding. Cast off your preconceptions as they weave a web of mystery that will leave your nerves jangling!”
14th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
The Irish House Party!
£20.00
From press release; “Dublin’s No’1 award winning music and dance show offers the warmest of welcomes to the finest house party in town.”
Also playing at Bradford St. George’s Hall on 16th March.
14th March 2013 – St. George’s Hall
Micky Flanagan
£22.50
From press release; “One of British comedy’s biggest stars comes to Bradford for one night only! Don’t miss Micky Flanagan at St George’s Hall!”
Limited availability remains on this one, so book early!
14th March 2013 – St. George’s Hall
Justin Moorhouse: Justin Time
£12.00-14.00
From press release; “He won’t have his face painted as a tiger but we can guarantee laughs from Justin!”
16th March 2013 – St. George’s Hall
The Irish House Party!
£18.50
From press release; “Dublin’s No’1 award winning music and dance show offers the warmest of welcomes to the finest house party in town.”
Also playing at Leeds City Varieties on 14th March.
17th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Gretchen Peters
£15.60-£17.60
From press release; “Gretchen Peters returns after rave reviews for her eighth album, ‘Hello Cruel World’ – a joke that, like the lovely melodies and deliciously textured arrangements framing these 11 songs, sweetens this captivating music spun from a year of turmoil. Her career kick started with Martina McBride’s 1995 recording of Peters’ ‘Independence Day’ which made her a songwriting sensation.”
18th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Steeleye Span
£16.00
From press release; “Folk rock pioneers, pop stars, an inspiration to generations – Steeleye Span have been many things, and are now a six piece again, This show will see them visit the classics that have made them one of the most successful British Folk Rock bands ever. 2012 finds Maddy Prior – the voice of Steeleye for 37 years – back at the helm of a line-up featuring band stalwart and fiddler extraordinaire , Rick Kemp on bass, Peter Zorn and Julian Littman on Guitars and Liam Genockey on the drum stool.
20th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Hormonal Housewives
£20.60
From press release; “Following on from their hugely successful 2012 tour, the girls return in 2013 with hilarious all-new sketches, as well as all the very best bits from last time round. Looking at everything that makes today’s woman tick (or ticked off!) – from the joys of teenagers, to the hell of IKEA, the madness of holiday reps and the insanity of DIY. Is your man more James May than Christian Grey? Then grab your girlfriends and head for a hilariously funny evening with the Hormonal Housewives – what they can’t teach you about modern womanhood isn’t worth knowing!”
21st March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
The Manfreds
£18.10-£20.10
From press release; “The Manfreds, with original front-man Paul Jones, will be performing many of the tracks from the highly acclaimed album The Five Faces Of Manfred Mann, re-released as part of their 50th anniversary celebrations, along with a mix of their biggest hits and the jazz and blues songs for which they are famous. Paul Jones, with his award winning harmonica sound, will be joined by Mike Hugg on keyboards, Tom McGuinness on lead guitar, Rob Townsend on drums, Marcus Cliffe on bass guitar and Simon Currie on saxophone/flute.”
21st March 2013 – St. George’s Hall
Shakatak
£17.50-£19.50
From press release; “Shakatak have enjoyed a level of success and career longevity rarely paralleled in contemporary music but then Shakatak is a particularly unusual group.”
22nd March 2013 – St. George’s Hall
Boogie Nights – The ’70′s Musical in Concert
£27.50-£35.50
From press release; “The original and best loved West End hit 70′s musical in an unmissable remixed one night concert event of the year”
It can be very hard to judge which of these tribute productions will be of the highest quality and which might leave a slightly disappointed feeling. This production certainly has some names in the “cast of 14 singers, dancers and live musicians” including The Osmond Brothers (Merrill, Jimmy and Jay), Gareth Gates, Andy Abraham and Butlins regular Chico, which might go a little way to justifying the £35.50 top price. I’ll reserve judgement on this one until I see it.
24th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Jo Caulfield – Better the Devil You Know
£13.00-£15.00
From press release; “The minute Jo Caulfield hits the stage you know you’re in for a good time. Nominated as ‘Funniest Woman’ (LAFTA Awards) and ‘Best Female Stand-Up’ (Chortle Awards), Jo Caulfield is one of the most popular and successful female Stand Up comedians in the country. Star of Radio 4’s critically acclaimed It’s That Jo Caulfield Again and recently seen on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Best of The Comedy Store and The Apprentice: You’re Fired. Expect razor-sharp observations and scandalous one-liners as Jo asks; Why are drunken girlfriends so much fun? Which hotel has the best porn? What constitutes an airtight alibi? Is friendliness overrated? The celebration of anger continues with acerbic stories about dating, relationships, bad service, wrestling with a self-scanner in Tesco Supermarket and humiliating herself in public. Come join Jo’s celebration of anger.”
25th March 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
Hairy Bikers – Larger Than Live 2013
£25.00-£27.50
From press release; “Last time round we told you our story, but this time, we’re taking you round the world. Starting with our northern roots, we’ll share our rip roaring tales of decadent do’s, big dinners and culinary catastrophes. There will be a bit of dancing, a bit of flirting, a bit of singing, and some downright hilarious stand-up comedy. Filled with plenty of surprises, expect the unexpected… and if you like us on the telly, you will love us ‘Larger than Live’.”
26th-30th March 2013 – Bradford Alhambra
Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty
£15.00-£35.00
From press release; “New Adventures’ 25th birthday culminates with the world premiere of Matthew Bourne’s latest re-imagining of a ballet classic. Sleeping Beauty sees Bourne return to the music of Tchaikovsky to complete the trio of ballet masterworks that started with Nutcracker! and the international smash hit, Swan Lake. Our story begins in 1890 at the christening of Princess Aurora, a time when fairies and vampires fed the gothic imagination, before moving forward in time to the modern day. Featuring designs by Olivier Award winners Lez Brotherston (Set and Costumes), Paule Constable (Lighting) with Sound Design by Paul Groothuis, which will take the audience into the heart of Tchaikovsky’s magnificent score in specially recorded surround sound.”
Fresh from Sadlers Wells and a deluge of glowing reviews, Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty has all the hallmarks of another world class production. Bourne’s new Sleeping Beauty is arguably his most modern ballet re-imagining yet, even going so far as to remove the orchestra and replace them with a pre-recorded score, a move which has caused much controversy in the industry but was deemed essential for the affordability of the show. I really can’t wait for this one. *Must See*
27th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
Ian Hunter + Guests
£23.10
From press release; “Ian Hunter & Mott The Hoople recorded four crazed but critically-acclaimed and highly influential albums for Island Records and possessed enormous live prowess, but poor record sales led to a temporary split and a move to CBS/Columbia. With David Bowie’s ‘All The Young Dudes’ as the launchpad, Mott The Hoople hit superstar status between 1972 and 1974 – seven hit singles, four chart albums (including ‘Mott’ – still regarded as a seventies’ classic); they were the first rock band to sell out a week of Broadway concerts in New York’s theatreland, and Ian wrote his universally acclaimed book, Diary of a Rock ‘n’ Roll Star. Mott reunited for five nights at London’s prestigious Hammersmith Apollo in 2009 and were awarded Lifetime Achievement Awards from Mojo and Classic Rock magazines respectively.”
27th-28th March 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
Harry Hill: Sausage Time
£31.00
From press release; “The self-styled floppy-collared loon is back with a live show that promises incontrovertible proof that God exists. Joined by showband ‘The Harry’s’, there’s a section exclusively for Tongans, a chance to catch up on Harry’s Nan’s latest ailments, the legendary Stouffer the Cat and a debut solo stand-up spot by Gary, Harry’s son from his first marriage and recognisable for his role as Alan Sugar in Harry Hill’s TV Burp. There’ll be expert-whistler-of-chart-hits grandson Sam and an all-singing, all-dancing finale. Oh, and a giant sausage.”
29th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
The Strawbs
£18.00
From press release; “The first album from folk-rock legends Strawbs, was recorded with Sandy Denny in 1967, a year before her first album with Fairport Convention. On the strength of this, A&M signed Strawbs as the first British band on the label. The band has a devoted fan base that continues to grow on the strength of both their recent recordings and classic hits. As Strawbs now move gracefully into their fifth decade of music making, the band comprises David Cousins, along with lead guitarist Dave Lambert, and the astonishingly versatile Chas Cronk, who together formed the front-line of the classic 1970s line-up. “
30th March 2013 – Leeds City Varieties
The Animals & Friends
£21.00
From press release; “The Animals were the second British band to top the American charts after The Beatles with the multi-million selling and legendary anthem, House of the Rising Sun. The band subsequently achieved over twenty global Top Ten hit records, many of which reached No.1 in various parts of the world. Animals & Friends features original Animals’ members John Steel (drums) and Mick Gallagher (keyboards – The Blockheads, The Clash, Paul McCartney) plus Danny Handley and Peter Barton.”
30th March 2013 – Leeds Grand Theatre
The Solid Silver 60′s Show
£17.00-£26.50
From press release; “They say that if you remember the 60s you weren’t there! Fill that gap in your memory with The Solid Silver 60s Show and relive the 60s with original artists singing their greatest hits! Now in its 28th year the show features the unforgettable talents of Mike Pender (the original voice of The Searchers), Dave Berry and Wayne Fontana, all backed by New Amen Corner, and with special guests The Merseybeats. Hear the classic hits performed by the original hitmakers!
- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
When? Tuesday 18th December 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Billy Pearce, Lynda Bellingham, Brendan Sheerin, Brian Godfrey, Ben Stock, Hannah Grover, Christopher Drake, Afnan Iftikhar, Daisy Boyles, Matthew Prince Chambers, Jack Gow, Chelsie Johnson, Ricky Lee Loftus, Kerry Pearce, Innis Robertson, Laura Watson, the Children of the Sara Packham School of Dance
Billy Pearce has become as much a staple of Christmas as mince pies, The Snowman and difficult relatives. The “80′s TV comedian” – in his own words – is clearly enjoying his 14th year of pantomime at the Bradford Alhambra. Starring as Buttons in Michael Harrison and Alan McHugh’s new Cinderella, Pearce is a blast and provides the beating heart and northern soul of a very strong pantomime production.
Harrison, who Executive Produces, wisely keeps the focus on high quality for all-comers, not just the very young, making Cinderella a very successful family show. The sets are astonishing and no expense has been spared; in particular, some wonderful moments of stage magic are sure to delight the younger members of the audience, with gasps of delight clearly audible in the packed house on press night. Throw in live animals, some incredible puppet design and plenty of knowing nods and winks for the more mature panto-lover and Cinderella delivers a near-flawless pantomime experience for young and old alike.
Joining seasoned performer Lynda Bellingham – who gave a disappointly stiff Fairy Godmother – are a talented cast of triple-threat performers and some fine comic turns. Brian Godfrey/Ben Stock are amusing as the traditional Ugly Sisters, with their first act cover of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” winning plenty of laughs. Christopher Drake makes a dashing Prince Charming and Hannah Grover is an appealing Disneyfied princess Cinderella. Afnan Iftikhar has a lovely singing voice but could do with practice on his Prince Charles impersonation! Supporting the adult cast are a well-drilled teams of children from the Sara Packham School of Dance, who perform without fear. Lastly, in a classically tenuous pantomime link, Brendan Sheerin – host of Channel 4′s Coach Trip – is the coach driver. Ouch! Sheerin does well enough in the part and enjoys himself – I have certainly seen much worse!

But it is Pearce who sells the show with his infectious enthusiasm and humour. The children go crazy for him and he is cheered, clapped and screamed at (he usually screams back) whenever he is on – or about to come 0n – the stage. The adults in the audience can also take a lot from Pearce, with plenty of self-deprecating humour and safe innuendo. Throw in the occasion ad-lib and Pearce is a name that is guaranteed to sell tickets year after year.
In Bradford Alhambra pantomime tradition, bookings are already being taken for next year’s production – Aladdin – shout out if you can guess who is returning?!
Cinderella plays at the Bradford Alhambra until Sunday 3rd February 2013.
- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
When? Monday 29th October 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Beverley Callard, Ray Quinn, Philip Andrew, Jess Robinson, Duggie Brown, Sally Plumb, Cerie Hine, Lisa Howard, John Cockerill
Although I have never seen the warmly received, star-studded 1998 movie adaptation of playwright John Cartwright’s successful 1992 play, I arrived at the Bradford Alhambra for The Rise and Fall of Little Voice with high expectations. After all, the movie – as I was assured by friends and colleagues – was an amusing, yet poignant tale of one painfully shy girl’s reluctant journey to stardom. Her one means of expression comes through the small collection of LP records left to her by her beloved late father – and the (sometimes) uncanny impersonations of the various artists she adores.
Considering the time of the year, it would be apt to say that what could have been a whimsical treat of an evening, turned into a one trick pony. The underlying core of the play has oodles of potential for exploration, but sadly is realised in a disjointed, clunky and, at times, distasteful way. Impressionist Jess Robinson as ‘Little Voice’ stands out, but this potential star-turn is generally underused in the book. Thankfully, she is given a brief opportunity in a second act medley to show her full range of impersonations, ranging from an uncanny Cilla Black, to a passable Julie Andrews.
The play centres around Little Voice’s mother Mari Hoff (Beverley Callard), whose surname seems to have been chosen for one cheap first act joke. Despite delivering a performance almost identical to that seen for the last 21 years as her long-running Coronation Street alter-ego Liz McDonald; Callard failed, at times, to convince in her portrayal, often coming across forced and making numerous mistakes delivering the text. Her strongest moment comes in an Act II monologue, where the character ruefully evaluates her own life choices. Unfortunately, this segment is so alien to the would-be whimsical style of the rest of the play, it feels entirely out of place. A hard-drinking factory worker, who calls her daughter a ‘slit’ throughout and regularly uses the term ‘twat bone’, is suddenly found on the floor crying ‘I beseech you!’, as she begs for redemption. This bizarre turn of events is entirely unconvincing.
Criticisms of some of the acting and direction aside, my biggest problem was with the script, which I found at times distasteful and exploitative – not a word I would use lightly, but I feel is necessary in this case. Next door neighbour Sadie, played by poor Sally Plumb, is the ongoing figure of ‘fun’ and I must admit I felt rather uncomfortable with the jokes made at her expense. She is insulted throughout the play due to her size; the content of such jokes I found wholly unnecessary and actually bordering on malicious. Cartwright takes every cheap laugh on offer – we see the ‘fat girl’ dancing around stupidly, straddling a sofa, being called ‘fat’ names throughout with no retaliation, eating mouldy cornflakes, drinking ‘cups of sugar with bit of tea in it’ and vomiting on herself ‘for laughs’ – the latter humiliation being particularly disgusting and hardly referenced in the script. I fail to see how that particular ‘joke’ was either funny or expositional. Largely, this infantile humour is at odds with any feeling of whimsy or empathy built up with any of the characters.
The show features both a pre-show and interval performance, in the form of cabaret acts, an interactive raffle and bingo which went down quite well with the Alhambra audience. Duggie Brown plays the role of the compere Lou Boo and is convincing in a sparkling gold number. The remaining cast perform admirably. As Ray Say, Philip Andrew acts well throughout, but is perhaps a touch too nice – indeed, he is arguably the most likeable character – in spite of the predictable second act heel turn. The nicest moments in the play come with the interaction between love-struck Billy (Ray Quinn) and Little Voice; one scene involving an on-stage cherry-picker was well-acted and visually impressive. A memorable fire effect also stands out in the memory from designer Morgan Large and lighting designer Jason Taylor.
The plot is interesting, as are some of the characters who certainly have room for development. This could’ve been a charming story with a first-class star turn; but the final product sadly left me cold.
The Rise and Fall of Little Voice plays at the Bradford Alhambra until Saturday 3rd November 2012.
- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com

Paterson Joseph (Brutus, left) and Jeffery Kissoon (Caesar, right)
When? Tuesday 25th September 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Jeffery Kissoon, Ann Ogbomo, Paterson Joseph, Cyril Nri, Joseph Mydell, Andrew French, Chinna Wodu, Mark Theodore, Segun Akingbola, Ewart James Walters, Ray Fearon, Ivanno Jeremiah, Ricky Fearon, Marcus Griffiths, Theo Ogundipe, Mark Ebulue, Jude Owusu, Samantha Lawson, Simon Manyonda
In the last few years, my patience had worn rather thin with the RSC, if truth be told.* It is therefore a surprise and a delight, in equal measure, to see a production as thrilling and inspired as Yorkshire born Gregory Doran’s Pan-African Julius Caesar, a play given a new lease of life against the backdrop of a civil-warring African republic. Featuring an all-black British cast, pre-show fears were quickly allayed as to any similarity between the 2009 The Tempest, which was incredibly the last RSC Shakespeare production to visit Yorkshire. Doran, directing his last production as Chief Associate Director before replacing outgoing Michael Boyd as Artistic Director, has set the benchmark very high for his tenure as RSC boss.
Whilst the African Caesar concept has been visited previously, Doran sets a precedent by not bludgeoning the idea on the audience; his is a production of subtleties and, in many ways, Shakespearean traditionalism which defies the modernised setting. Doran finds the perfect balance between accessibility and artistic credibility, keeping the bus loads of Year 8/9 school children, at times, as rapt as the invited and paying guests in the rows behind. It helps, of course, that the play has oodles of conspiracy, intrigue and treachery which needs little signposting. The plotting senators, initially fronted by Caius Cassius, are a wonderfully clandestine society of hooded figures who meet under the cover of darkness, whispering in the shadows; all literally behind the back of the would-be victim of assassin, Caesar, whose giant stone statue towers over the west of Rome, referencing the fallen monuments to Lenin, Saddam Hussein and other ‘dictators’ from recent history.
Yet the Caesar we meet is not the would-be dictator described by the conspirators – or indeed the turn given frequently as directed on stage. The returning war hero, greeted by a band of supporters who sing his name, is an aging, portly, slightly deaf has-been who looks about as ambitious as a teacake. Jeffery Kissoon finds the insecurities of his ‘Northern Star’; some may question whether he provides the ambition to match that which was touted by the conspirators – but this is almost definitely the point. His speech at the Capitol was less brutal tyrant than minor hissy-fit; all of which sits beautifully with the notion that Brutus himself was the one most deceived.
The action takes place on Michael Vale’s grand set, dominated by the enormous statue positioned and facing upstage. As is the norm now, guns have replaced swords as the weapon of choice for modern stagings (although I have never, ever seen one used instead of the dagger Shakespeare prescribes in the text). The costumes, initially fairly neutral tribal wear, latterly camouflage and military uniforms, are entirely convincing and appropriate throughout. The attention to detail is superb, right down to Calpurnia’s kanga, defining her as one of a higher standing.

With Julius Caesar considered a particularly simple Tragedy, the tiniest nuance in a performance is likely to come under scrutiny – and largely the cast are aware of this, with the acting generally of a good standard. Jeffery Kissoon is perhaps rather too likeable as the bumbling Caesar (a few in the audience audibly reacted to his murder with sympathy) but gives a steady turn; Paterson Joseph is about as ambitious as they come in a Brutus, his ear is visibly turned as Cassius suggests he be a far more worthy leader; he has some lovely moments, particularly in his asides, but there is little doubt that his posthumous status as ‘noblest Roman of them all’ is extremely questionable. It is Ray Fearon as a charismatic Mark Antony who gives the outstanding turn and grew from strength to strength with his character over the course of the evening. There was even a certain swagger to Fearon at the curtain call, which was hard not to find well suited to his dominating, confident frame. Elsewhere, there are some very large-scale performances from several, with Cyril Nri particularly memorable for being the wrong side of ‘legs apart and shout everything’. The entire cast adopt African accents, all of which are spot on and a potential banana skin averted.
A few missteps aside (an awkward pre-show** and later what appeared to be a completely unnecessary and noncontexual ‘black power’ salute from Mark Antony) Gregory Doran’s Julius Caesar is one of the best new productions I have seen from the RSC in many years – and a fantastic reason to get yourself to the Bradford Alhambra for a quality night of straight theatre. May it be the first of many quality RSC productions to visit the region in the coming years.
Julius Caesar plays at the Bradford Alhambra until 29th September 2012.
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- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
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Notes
*The last RSC production to visit the region was the dire 2009 The Tempest starring Antony Sher and John Kani, which was an RSC co-production which originated in South Africa, again with a central African setting.
**The production features a live music pre-show and tribal dancing, while audience members – many of whom were visiting the theatre for the first time, awkwardly filed to their seat, unsure if they were allowed to talk/get up, and so forth.
When? Tuesday 18th September 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Dave Willetts, Marti Webb, Bruce Montague, Jessica Punch, James O’Connell, Carol Ball, Graham Hoadley, Graeme Henderson, Stephen Weller, Rebecca Marks, Lucy Ashenden, George Bray, Tabitha Camburn, Felicity Chilver, Daniel Clift, Abigail Climer, Katy Day, Anouska Eaton, Jamie Harris, Jenny Jones, Josh Kiernan, Stevie-Jean McGuire, Holly Mitchell, Marios Nicolaides, Ben Palmer, Debbie Paul, Claire Rickard, Hollie Sorelle, Sebastian Sykes, Billie-Kay
“Think of the two most glorious words in the English language; musical comedy!“, enthused ‘King of Broadway’ Julian Marsh before the Act II showstopper ‘Lullaby of Broadway’; in the case of UK Productions 2012 tour of 42nd Street, it is hard to disagree. 42nd Street is the ‘Broadway musical’ at its purest; huge production numbers see swathes of tap-dancing, top-hatted chorus boys vying for attention with a similarly handsome chorus line of young ladies, each offering notable talent in addition to the Broadway T&T combination, which was the backbone of musical theatre for the majority of the 20th century. Indeed the 1980 musical, set in 1930′s New York City during the Great Depression and re-worked from a 1933 novel, is an unashamed homage to the era – and a show which is still very much loved today.
The story is a classic scenario; Broadway diva Dorothy Brock (Marti Webb) breaks her ankle shortly before opening night of a new Broadway show, ‘Pretty Lady’, leaving the production without a star – and leaving the entire company, including legendary director Julian Marsh, out of desperately needed bread money in Depression-stricken New York City. Step forward bubbly Peggy Sawyer, (Jessica Punch) an unknown from Allentown, Pennsylvania who is making her professional debut in the chorus line. Can she step into the spotlight and become a star?
The musical is a blast from start to finish; a combination of warm humour, the light-hearted and fluffy narrative, and some wonderful song and dance numbers makes 42nd Street one of the best of its kind. Indeed, large chunks of the show are lifted and used for comic effect in other productions such as Spamalot, The Drowsy Chaperone and most notably The Producers, which watches as a love-letter to the likes of 42nd Street, which is evidence of the genre’s enduring appeal. The book is also surprisingly relevant and engaging for such a marshmallowy show; Act II’s ‘Sunny Side to Every Situation’ was particularly moving, the simple direction allowed the poignancy of the moment to shine through beautifully, as the redundant chorus girls fearfully contemplate their respective futures. The production numbers are an absolute joy to watch; the dancing is largely impeccable – particularly from the female ensemble – and the footwork outstanding as you would expect from a show which features a triple-threat dance-centric cast of over twenty dedicated hoofers, plus principal roles, tap dancing in unison. The show has camp in spades; early on, the fourth wall is very quickly and knowingly broken as Maggie suggests with a knowing smile that the chorus girls tap dance their way to the local restaurant, before putting musicians to sword: “We put them in a pit for a reason, you know”.
The sizable budget for the production has been very well spent on filling the stage with performers, both plentiful in number and quality. Gareth Williams’ cracking little orchestra of nine are a pleasure to listen to throughout and an unexpected luxury. To put things into perspective: the UK touring production of 42nd Street boasts a larger band than the West End production of Les Miserables. The costumes (Roger Kirk) are fitting and terrifically striking throughout, the wig work is similarly impressive for such a large undertaking. Douglas W Schmidt’s designs are surprisingly grand; the second act train station scene is given its own impressive set, as is the theatre dressing room; by the time the finale comes we are treated to the full company tap dancing in shimmering gold, on the iconic lit staircase. It is hard not to be impressed by the efforts of the producer and design team who spared no expense. Even the downstage backdrop projections and lighting work (David Howe) were impressive throughout and the projections used sparingly alongside actual, physical sets. Director/Co-author and 42nd Street regular Mark Bramble does a fantastic job of ensuring the action flows along nicely.

The cast is headed up by two British musical theatre veterans and household names in the industry in Marti Webb and Dave Willetts. Webb is decent enough as Dorothy Brock and she sings reasonably well. Her character is written to be outshone by her younger, more generously talented ensemble member colleague; and she duly is. Dave Willetts, previously outstanding in The Phantom of the Opera and more recently Craig Revel Horwood’s 2008 Sunset Boulevard, has something of a spark on stage which is hard to quantify. He can create a tension in the air that very few performers can muster and again achieves this as a gruff Julian Marsh. ‘Lullaby of Broadway’, the stand-out number of the performance, is his crowning triumph in the role, which he sings and acts with gravitas and dignity throughout. The quality throughout the ensemble is very high, Jessica Punch does very well as Peggy, with a wide-eyed excitability and charm which is impossible not to find endearing; James O’Connell shamelessly hams it up as Billy Lawlor to great comic effect; O’Connell, like Punch, is also an excellent dancer and had the technical skills to back up the comic elements of his role. Carol Ball starts very strongly as Maggie, helping carry ‘Go Into Your Dance’ with gusto. The dance ensemble all looked the part and had the ability to match, credit must be given to choreographer Graeme Henderson for his fabulous work and dance captain Hollie Sorelle for ensuring the dancing was as tight and focused as it was on the night. Slightly less focused, however, were the accents which were a curious mixture; for every Brooklyn there was an erroneous Texan or ropey General American. Not distracting, but not brilliant.
If you missed this tour in its original 2007 outing, you have a second chance; 42nd Street is a slice of classic Broadway on your doorstep and this production from Martin Dodd on behalf of UK Productions is thoroughly enjoyable for young and old alike.
42nd Street runs at the Bradford Alhambra until 22nd September 2012.
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- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
When? Wednesday 12th September 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Ace Bhatti, Don Gilet, William Ilkley, Ian Reddington
When Yorkshire playwright John Godber‘s hit comedy Bouncers debuted some 35 years ago at his beloved Hull Truck Theatre, it proved an instant hit. The production has seen numerous re-writes and updates in the decades which followed its 1977 premiere, including the fantastically-named ’1990′s remix’ – and presently – the 2012 tour from Watershed Productions, for which Godber has again taken the reigns as director. The play is widely regarded as being culturally significant; its legacy reinforced by its status as a GCSE text today – indeed, Bouncers proves just as watchable for a seasoned theatregoer as for a large group of difficult-to-please teenage students.
Bouncers is an observational piece telling the story of four lads and four lasses on a night out as they try to dance, drink, vomit, urinate and fart their way to ‘happiness’. Night after night, weekend after weekend, the Bouncers watch on; they’ve seen it all before. Ralph and Les are passive – normal; Lucky Eric is very strange – Judd is a psychopath. The roles are played by the same four actors, dressed in plain black suits; when playing the girls, a limp wrist, a mince and a glittery handbag are deployed as visual aids; the lads swagger their way into Asylum Nightclub and the Bouncers grimace, banter and otherwise wallow in their self-loathing. There are laughs aplenty throughout; the hilarious ‘sex scene’ was wonderfully executed (though be warned, strobe lights are used for this segment) and, although it might be considered cheap laughs by some, the performances as the girls on their night out were surprisingly genuine. There was something oddly amusing about the characters simply announcing their names when they entered – ala the Teletubbies – and I will never look at a Smurf the same way again.
It is impossible to ignore the similarities of Godber’s writing to that of fellow popular playwright Willy Russell; both men are from working class backgrounds (Godber is the son of a miner from a West Yorkshire mining town) and both write with a belt of much-needed humour, with younger people firmly in mind. They also both clearly have a fondness for rhyming couplets, which are used at the beginning and end of the play as a simple framing device which brought closure to the ‘night out’ in a very apt manner. The play is observational in a very literal way; there is little exposition or plot over the course of the two hours, neither is there too much fleshing out of the characters. The Bouncers are the most developed; Lucky Eric, who breaks into monologue throughout the play, arguably takes on the mantle of creating dramatic impetus. Part amateur philosopher, large part pervert, I was unsure what to make of his rambling speeches about young girls ‘soft, tender thighs’ and his witnessing of what appeared to be a serious sexual assault in a pub, which he claimed ‘ … aroused him more than ever before’. Whilst the content was not shocking by modern standards, it felt strangely out of place in the context of an otherwise amusing comedy and left me squirming in my seat in places; like listening to bad ‘sexual fiction’, read by a fifty year old on audio book.
Godber’s 2012 updates are plentiful and a mixed success; thumping modern club music is pumped out throughout the evening with Rhianna, Jessie J (and the Outhere Brothers (?)) – and the like – setting the scene very much in the modern day. There is a half-hearted stab at social and economic commentary, which I found quite hard to swallow; Godber’s belief that young people are victims of the society they have grown up in was always certain to divide an audience who didn’t pay to see social comment – from either end of the political spectrum. Some changes (or lack thereof) are simply factually incorrect; the opening verse implies patrons need to wear a suit to enter a 2012 nightclub, that young girls go to a salon to get a large beehive perm for a night out (or young men go to smokey, terrifying barber shops to get a ‘Joey Barton’ do) – or, for that matter, that groups of young women dance around their handbags in the middle of the nightclub dance floor and groups of men compare the size of their penises and urinate on each other for laughs in the toilets. I’m not sure I’ll ever know what a ‘large shot’ is either. These may seem small inaccuracies, but for a play which is not narrative driven but based on Godber’s interpretation of young people’s actual lives in 2012, these are errors which need correcting to ensure credibility with the people Godber is attempting to portray.
The cast do well across the board, but William Ilkley gives the stand-out turn as wind-up merchant Judd, making the most of his one-liners and truly looking the part to boot. Ian Reddington is fine as Lucky Eric, but for reasons of keeping my dinner down I can’t dwell on the speeches he is given to recite. Ace Bhatti is hilarious in a brief cameo as a Club DJ and is wonderful as Suzie, particularly in the nightclub scenes. Finally Don Gilet as Les isn’t given a lot to do, but earns plenty of laughs when given the opportunity.
Bouncers is an amusing few hours which zip along nicely; it doesn’t work as a piece of social commentary but as a light-hearted comedy, accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds, it proves a successful revival. John Godber, who was in attendance himself, will be delighted with the ovation his ‘baby’ received – and I’m sure this isn’t the last incarnation we will see of Bouncers in the years to come.
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- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
When? Monday 16th July 2012
Where? Alhambra Theatre, Bradford, stalls
Who? Hambi Pappas, Sydney Smith, Kate O’Mara, Jennifer Bryden, Max Hutchinson, Vanessa Morley, Mark Wynter, Susie Amy, Ben Nealon, Denis Lill, Chloe Newsome
“It’s intolerable!” shrieks actress Susie Amy as Kay Mostyn, drawing audible gaffaws from several members of the audience around me. This ill-advised first act exclamation of disgust and hopelessness echoed around the majestic Alhambra theatre, almost daring an ironic rebuttal from a pithy, fed up theatregoer.
Many in the audience may have already been familiar with Christie’s 1937 novel Death on the Nile, a piece made famous to current audiences when adapted for television, first in 1978 starring Peter Ustinov and most recently in 2004 with David Suchet. Agatha Christie was famously dubious that her top protagonist and most famous creation – Hercule Poirot, the hero of Death on the Nile – could be successfully brought to life on the stage. She decided therefore to re-work the piece into Murder on the Nile starring a new cast of characters, some key differences in the plot and, crucially, no little Belgian detective to save the day.
The Bill Kenwright owned Agatha Christie Company’s new production of Murder on the Nile is beyond disappointing. Even by the finale which, as expected, packed at least something of a punch – albeit watery low-alcohol punch – it was frankly hard to care who anybody was, what their alleged motives were or even if the boat they were cruising on sank – just as long as they all died quickly. The plot is a classic Christie cozy; a group of wealthy people are boarding a boat set to cruise on the Nile, through happenstance (or otherwise..?) several of these people know each other – or seem to have an awful lot in common. Unfortunately, things take an ugly turn when a cleverly planned murder occurs and, with the police unavailable it falls on our morally irreproachable hero to solve the crime and bring the murderer/thief to justice.
The first act feels like an eternity; the exposition is clunking and obvious with characters spouting lines such as “But you KNOW nobody can inherit my vast fortune until I am either twenty five or married!”, as one female character arrives on honeymoon with her new penniless, playboy husband. Some forty-five minutes in, the crew (both of them) are still milling around loading luggage aboard the boat, while we are introduced to characters with an absolutely bewildering array of phony accents. When the ship does finally set sail in the second act it is the perfect metaphor, as things do finally get moving in the plot, but by then the damage is done; a lady two rows in front is fast asleep, winning the battle of the visual imagery.
To say the evening is lacking direction is something of an understatement; Joe Harmston treats Christie like a cartoon. Characters are bloated, outrageous parodies of better actors doing parody. Why does “Harun, the Steward” keep opening and closing the bar while surely important (or else, why are they there?) conversations are going on downstage? Why does Musa, the crew member/mountebank begin the play in his pants, only to get dressed seconds later in the middle of the stage? Trying to sex up Christie is a novel idea, at least. Why does everybody speak with very strange accents, with some actors even struggling to keep a solid RP down? The questions are endless and the product hopeless. These questions did, whilst ignoring the distractions offered by the restless and visibly bemused audience by the midway point in the first act, give me a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the beautiful English Renaissance stylings of the Bradford Alhambra’s beautiful ceiling art and proscenium decor.
Unfortunately, the cast are far from blameless for the state of Murder of the Nile. The entire performance was sorely lacking in energy and passion, but without being unkind, several of the cast were clearly out of their comfort zone and, undoubtedly, their depth in terms of talent. Curiously, in a supporting comic role, veteran of stage and screen Kate O’Mara mumbles and bumbles her way to top billing, a position which rightfully should’ve gone to Denis Lill as protagonist Canon Pennefather. Despite his character being a dullard in clerical clothing, Lill at least makes his lines sound like he is having a conversation when he is supposed to be, rather than just exchanging blocks of text in a strange accent and throwing his arms around, as in the norm for the company in this production. The cast are as stilted, wooden and unconvincing as I can recall seeing in a professional production in recent years; to her credit Chloe Newsome as scheming Jacqueline over-acts dreadfully, but at least brings some melodrama to the fore, which engages briefly. The performance was also blighted by unforgivably poor diction from the cast. An unfortunate high-pitched whistle caused by an unfortunate patron’s hearing aid was distracting in the first act, fortunately the venue took swift and remedial action to investigate and resolve this issue for the start of the second act. Murder on the Nile is home to the worst Scottish, most half-baked Eastern European, borderline racist Egyptian and ropiest French (Spanish?) accents on the British theatre touring circuit, no mean feat and a resounding success for director Harmston and the production team.
Simon Scullion’s singular but sumptuous two-tiered set of the observation deck of the Lotus is the saving grace of this production; Mike Robertson’s lighting even feels stiflingly hot – although it is only Lill who considers to dabbing the (real) sweat from his forehead. We’re in Egypt, people! Unfortunately, productions like this do come along now and again and keep us all honest; with so much great theatre so far in 2012 in our Yorkshire theatres and so much more to come*, there is no doubt in my mind the only way is up from here.
- Harry Zing
Chewingthescenery.com
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Notes
*Bradford Theatres have just announced their Autumn 2012 line up, boasting visits from ‘international hit comedy’ Bouncers, 42nd Street starring Dave Willetts and Marti Webb (‘Think of Broadway, damn it!’), Julius Caesar from the RSC, Daddy Cool, The Rise and Fall of Little Voice and, arguably most excitingly, The Mousetrap on its first ever UK Tour!
When? Wednesday 24th April 2013
When? Wednesday 24th October 2012
When? Tuesday 3rd July 2012